Solutions for Conversation Challenge: Naysayer
Observations- I've noticed you always focus on the problems for ideas that are proposed.
Inappropriate. Saying "always" is a subjective exaggeration. - I notice you often shoot down ideas.
Inappropriate. Saying "shoot down" is a subjective interpretation. - I've noticed you spend more time focusing on the problems rather than the merits for ideas that are proposed.
This is an appropriately objective description. - I've noticed sometimes you ask questions about features that we had already come to an agreement on.
This is an appropriately objective description.
Aspirations- I'd like you to make more room for considering the merits of ideas that are proposed, even if there are imperfect.
Saying "I'd like you…" sounds demanding. - I'd like to discuss how to make room for considering the useful parts of suggestions, even if there are problems.
his is an appropriately aspiration. - I'd like to stop suggestions from being shot down immediately.
"stop suggestions" say what you don't want. Aspirations should be in terms of what you do want. - I'd like to help the team discuss oppositions and problems effectively as a group.
This is an appropriately aspiration.
Impact- They may feel belittled.
"belittled" is not an emotion, it is an interpretation of what someone did. - They may feel uncomfortable.
This is an appropriate impact. - They may be more reluctant to speak up.
This is an appropriate impact. - They may feel dismissed.
"dismissed" is not an emotion, it is an interpretation of what someone did.
Ways Forward- What are your views?
This is an appropriate way to engage the other. - Do you have ideas for how to improve our group discussions?
This is an appropriate way to engage the other. - Can you shape up?
This is judgmental and not an appropriate way to engage the other.
Inappropriate. Saying "always" is a subjective exaggeration.
Inappropriate. Saying "shoot down" is a subjective interpretation.
This is an appropriately objective description.
This is an appropriately objective description.
Saying "I'd like you…" sounds demanding.
his is an appropriately aspiration.
"stop suggestions" say what you don't want. Aspirations should be in terms of what you do want.
This is an appropriately aspiration.
"belittled" is not an emotion, it is an interpretation of what someone did.
This is an appropriate impact.
This is an appropriate impact.
"dismissed" is not an emotion, it is an interpretation of what someone did.
This is an appropriate way to engage the other.
This is an appropriate way to engage the other.
This is judgmental and not an appropriate way to engage the other.